Love the Ocean
Love your Life

Finally Life is opening up like the Ocean
under the open sky
I'm going to find my freedom
And dreams
Bring them into my Life
Enjoy by the Ocean...

wat 2.04am le...dad, when r u goin to come home?????? shouldn't i jus call and ask???ok....
i was held responsible to open door for him...tat's y...
ok he's reaching home soon....meaning i can slp...but tutorial assignment not done!!! dunno how to do!!! got 救兵...but he oso can't help me tis time...haiz...maybe shall forfeit this assignment marks bah....=p i'm brain dead..........

yes i'm always tis heck care......
hope i'll rem to bring my laptop tml...cos i tink i'll jus totally forget it....hahaha

hmm...my bio clock functioning too well...argh, woke up so early...but nvm.
i jus love to slack a lot man...
haven done any work and almost half of the day gone...
yes i'm jus a sensitive animal...can't stand how ppl can be close tis moment, and apart the next...but i guess, tat's life....life like a train...
after so long, den noe so much abt the past...but guess he's realli nothin to me, tat's y i dun feel a single shit abt it...can't be bothered wif his messy lifestyle...
jus hope ahru will breeze thru it, dun worry, got so many ppl supporting u =)

exam seat arrangment out le...tis is the last semester le...
i used to be very eager to look at the seating arrangement, dunno y oso hahaha...everyday go studentlink and check...
but for the last time, i din't do tat, and obediently waited for the annoucement email...
still jobless...haiz...haven send out any resumes anymore....
next resort, air stewardess....hahaha....wif anyone who's also jobless still bah hahaha...
tat'll make my dream come true....travel and travel...
Dream on....

haiz.............jus feel like sighing................
lunch time....but nothin at home to eat, lazy to go down oso, nobody on their way home....so it's either dieting or maggi mee......haha who would wan such a lazy ger......

oh yah....aunty yap, how's the new hamster doin??? wat's his/her name??? =)

random bloggin:

jus saw the new i-gallop commercial featuring Ix Shen & Jacelyn Tay...this is so much better than those bunch of girls galloping away...OSIM definitely has lots of negative feedback wif their launch commercial and glad they did do something to it, otherwise, their innovative reputation is definitely at stake...still rem, we did a case project on OSIM while we were in Canada, felt proud then...but the i-gallop made us tink more than twice abt feeling proud hahaha......i wonder wat kind of survey result hav they gathered tat i-gallop is being introduced......i dun hear anybody ard me want horse-riding as a leisure exercise......

daily life:
Excel is realli a 神奇的东西...hahaha
cos we were finally able to get a good estimate of the stock price of Stamford Tyres by 7pm?...and yes, it's a BUY...so ppl go buy Stamford Tyres stock now hahaha......
in case, u r puzzled, tis is part of my Equity Securities project......yes i wan it to be quickly done wif....but nvm, still got time...
it's the other upcoming presentation......if only i had joined de-ge's group hahaha...eh, at least, not tat stress......but, i'm being nice too, can accompany dinko to 混水摸鱼 together...keke...

女人总是比较敏感的。i jus can't help to tink, are there ppl toking bad abt me behind my backs....cos it seems tat, there r too many 双面人了...y can't everything in life, on earth be more simplified...jus like how a maths equation can be simplified into 1+1=2......

heard so much, yet still immerse myself......it's definitely purely for fun...i guess...afterall, wat more can i hope for? nothin...没有期待，就没有失望...我是应该不那么沉溺于我的欲望吧？可是，谁抵挡得了自己的欲望呢？或许找别的方式来满足自己的欲望吧? =)

suddenly,
i feel tat, everybody is getting on well wif life...as in they r moving on as much as they can, to live their own life...
for me, maybe it's cos of them, tat i realise, yes everybody, including me, is moving on, good =)

but, for a while, i dunno wat's tat feeling crawling up into me......realli dunno...wth was i tinkin...=p...definitely not a too-good feeling...i jus hope it's only for today, jus now.....and not happening often, if not, i'll probably be dead! =p...and it's jus an unexplainable feeling.......haiz...

IN NEED OF KTV...KTV...KTV...KTV...KTV...

haiz, everybody is busy...nobody to msn...i'm jus another busy person who is too free =p
so maybe i shall go and sleep...unless busy people oso start to be like me, being too free hahaha...
i'm into a lot of craps nowadays, dun i??? =p

dun feel like bloggin,
but i'll anyway =)

went clubbin last nite...dbl-o den mos...
first time at both places...
dbl-o, go there if u only need drinks...cos other than cheap or free drinks (free only for ladies obviously haha), there's no other alluring factors, even the music not up to expectation...practically 'no' dance floor, jus bcos nobody dance there; and, i'm not being too racist here, but it's practically filled up by malays and malays.........
tat's y we decided to go elsewhere, and thx to vonster's fren suggestion to go mos...altho had to pay cover chrg, but not bad...cos i had been hearing ard tat mos not nice, wun go mos again blah blah blah...but i like it!!!maybe u jus hav to choose to go on a weekday (except fri), it's not too over-crowded and thus can enjoy urself there =)
i hope my company had fun too last nite =)
poor me, 为了穿好看的鞋，而累坏了自己的脚...no more heels to club...and so, for the first time of my life, i walked bare-footed on the streets...issit illegal?? i dun tink so bah haha...i need new shoes!!! =)

today worked @ 10....totally energyless...+ the cramp from the mthly thing...wat a gd combination...but at least, i had survived till break time 3pm...cos, wif the new mgr ard (he's not new actually, jus tat he's taking over serangoon now...), work is stressful!!!...haiz...在这样的气氛下做工，不一定会有他要的效果或效率吧...i guess there're a lot of things tat i dun need to care abt anymore, jus do my basic duties...
eat and slp during 3 hr break time...and finally at the last hr, asshole called saying house caught fire le...as if i'll believe...
it nv caught fire, it's jus tat mum forgot to switch off gas when they went out!!!!!! and some kind soul, called the police and firemen..........i missed the show of many ppl crowding ard to find out wat happened to my house......luckily, no misfortune......but lots of cleanups...i welcome anybody who support free labour to come my house =)...and pls pardon me, if i walked to u nowadays wif smoky smell......cos u jus hav to noe tat my house is filled up wif these 'unhealthy' air =(.....so everything will be oily and smelled...yupz...even my clothes bah....

so, kind-hearted jeff & rachel, let me go off home...
and now i've decided to go home str after work again tml...not goin to NATAS fair....haiz...oso gd la...nowadays dun feel like running ard places....it's tiring...

maybe from last nite onwards, i had this feeling...the feeling of wanting to fall in love...but, i guess it's impossible still, for myself and definitely for him...cos i see how he and she are getting along so well, tat is if everything is true...hahaha...every little things i see, i observe, they probably belong together hahaha...so, all the best =)

tat's all i wan to say for today =)....
still got one tut presentation and one project...haiz...sianz...
sianz tml go work, sure everybody ask the same question....like "how's ur kitchen???"......a loudspeaker will do me good tml...=p

yes, i shldn't be blogging...but...

in case u missed out my msn nick at current time,
"*mémoires_ling* quiz haiz....=(...decided ! to leave out the other 7 chapters......let's watch me fail =p"...

yes, i've decided to slp...i believe strongly tat, i wun even finish a few chapters thruout the whole nite....might as well, hav a gd slp, wake up early tml morn, to do other IMPT stuffs as well...yes, there r other things on hand too...

i'm realli not the material for studying...i've wasted my years somehow......i feel......watever, go and SLEEP!!!

monday - in sch for half of the day, doin FYP...

tuesday - in sch for 12hrs, doin only FYP......

yes, for the past 2 days, nothin but FYP...recycling and recycling...ANOVA and ANOVA...grammar and grammar......

thx dinko who happened to see my name outside her FYP tutor's neighbour (my FYP tutor) door and safe kept the ''impt'' document for me hahaha...

NO LIFE!!!...argh...can't believe next week is the last lecture week...haiz...
i dread for exams to be here, but i dun wan to graduate...=p...not tat i wan to fail, u get wat i mean......

anw, shld be contended tat, there is fren who also bothers abt my FYP... =)
至少当你寂寞，无助时，你知道有这么一个朋友会陪着你...

and i realized, my fyp mates, are jus influencing me way too much...when we r together, all we'll tink of is either EAT, KTV or MOVIE and again EAT......hahaha...so basically, i had more meals than ever...i always had heavy heavy dinnerS nowadays...jialat...
shit, i can't go on at this rate!!!...i need....eh wat do i need...watever i say i need, i still wun get onto it...so forget it...i'll jus live my life as the way it is =)

had a gd day...=)

study a bit in the morn...
altho wanted to work badly for the $32, but i can't
i cannot pang-seh the one who is leavin in an hrs time for swiss...
met shiuan and biyu @ settler's cafe...
hmm...realli a nice place to hang out wif a big group of frenz...
shall go there wif diff group of ppl next time =)
den reached home
within an hr, went to a housewarming, mgr's house @ jurong west
saw his wedding photos at a corner of the house, so 羡慕haha...羡慕他们的幸福吧
den kept playin or rather helpin his kids wif their toy, the 2-in-1 kind, can be robot, can be a convertible sport car...hahaha...me and jea were very occupied thruout by tat...
both kids r cute...esp wat didi said...'我不是光头' hahz...
den finally, ppl familiar came...but we still left early or rather earliest...to catch the last train =)

time is runnin out...next 3 days on the agenda, BF308-ing!!! and FYP-ing...haiz...
i'm always so last min...
anw, the only thing tat bothers me today is, somebody nv bother to reply my msg...even if dunno, can oso say dunno wat...haiz...make me wait and wait but no answer. watever.

first thing first,

HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY BITCH...hahaha yup the 死肥猪 of mine...my forever asshole SISter
















went for dinner @ boon lay...boon lay raja restaurant 文礼楼...a-la-carte buffet...so we ordered a lot of food...
was initially irritated with their service...but gradually as food filled up my stomach, i let the complains vanish into thin air, cos service started to be better hahaha...
food-wise, not too bad =)
den it's cake cutting time
sister's godmother bought a swenson's cookies n cream ice cream cake...yum yum...
took quite a lot of photos for her...=p
overall quite a gd nite...

now the working part...
there seem to be a lot of things...definitely a lot of things happening...but i realli dunno start from where...haiz...
i noe how badly he wans everybody to be satisfied, but somehow, things jus doesn't go right...
working morale @ sst sg almost equal to zero now...
shld i interfere? trying to make it a better place, at least for us part-timers...
and i feel so caught in between...haiz...
i guess i still hav my own right to choose my frenz ba...if they can't respect tat, den is tat wat u call urself as 'frenz'???
there's jus tis word 'unfairness' ard everywhere bah...
for now, i can only jus do my part...but to noe tat, our mgmt is at risk...risk of losing more and more staffs...i can only sigh...haiz...
it's oso hard to find little satisfaction and happiness in workin...used to be able to work happily even though there r lots of things to do...now, i jus wished there could be one day, only the senior staffs r working...maybe i'll see more happy faces then bah...haiz...
but too bad it seems tat, tat day will nv come...cos the schedule planner, doesn't even noe who's realli senior or junior or who's strong at wat or who're the ones who shld stay on...
in a few mths time, i'm leaving too...
my wish will nv come true...i tink...haiz...

and in any case, if u wan to rebutt the above, pls tink b4 u say anything, cos it simply represent my view, and it wun hav any effect on u or anybody...so dun giv all ur craps...(obviously i seem to be targeting somebody...oops...=p)

i tink i'm still glad, enjoyin life sometimes (esp wif ppl in sst)...free myself from books (and do those last min, holding buddha's legs haha)...lookin forward to tml
-->settler's cafe wif bi-yu and shiuan (cos shiuan goin off to swiss in 24hrs time...)
-->mgr (or ex-mgr haha) housewarming
i tink both will be fun!!! =)

bitch it's time to go bath and sleep instead of MSN-ing....forever MSN-ing...oh and bitch brought back her 雷楼倒 home...hmm...marry b4 me lor...it's ok one...hahaha...

eh...yup a bit too free...shld hav gone to dbl-o la...haiz...feel so paiseh now, like always pang seh ahru...this shall be the last time...last time of pang-seh-ing ppl...

为什么有那么多事都不能如我们所愿呢？

anw, jus read a bit of xiaxue's blog...
quoted by her
"Meanwhile, if you are like bored, go fall in love or something. :) It's a pretty nice feeling."
puting the ''something'' aside, it's the ''go fall in love'' part...
issit tat easy to jus fall in love??? hahaha...
if it's tat easy, well, den let's jus look ard, r u able to jus find tat one person to fall in love wif???
i doubt so...
somehow it always seem best to stay as the best-est frenz...so you'll always be there for each other no matter wat happens...
den who can be tat special someone to fall in love wif???
hmm...i'm jus tryin to always contradict myself =p
but den again...fall in love doesn't equal to being together rite???
see i'm trying to contradict again...hahz
haiz...
tat's y i love absorbing myself into dramas, movies...things will be perfect inside...love is the most wonderful thing u can feel for them...haha...i'm totally living in a fantasy world!!

suddenly tot of sch life again...tink i'm gonna miss it realli much...(ok seems like i've been saying tis too much, but i oredi am missing...) esp miss Year 1...Year 2 and last year...haiz...time jus flies...tat's y, there r a lot of times, we can't grab hold in time and let them slip off w/o u knowing...would u wan to turn back time to then? but wat's the use, if u r goin to let them slip off unintentionally again...

kk...it's time to work again...tml...hope it's a gd day...=p

每次都我做坏人
任由你讲...
realli WTF lor...

i tink i shld be like whoever 'zi' who lives in the hilly area all by himself, 最好让我与世隔绝...
tat's the best lifestyle for me..........................................
realli shall remain silence @ home....

sorri gracie...as i said, i'll repay u...haha

haiz...there's completely nothin i do is correct, not even partially correct...
if tis goes on, wat's home to me....栖身之地而已吧...
家家有本难念的经.....

i'm easily irritated these few days......

what the fuck, always wan to go clubbing tog in a group, always there'll be the spoiler...(i can oso be the spoiler sometimes, so it goes the same for me, i'm not bias!)...from now on, jus wait for ppl to jio le la...maybe i finally realize how it feels when we r so excited abt it, and jus hav to feel DAMN SIAN when only 1 person is dropping out....
or maybe i shld noe who r the gd sports to jio...

tink everybody has different priorities in life...to me, frenz r jus so impt...i'll make the best effort for my real buddies...
but to some ppl, even buddies or gd pals are not comparable to anything else......i realli dun wish to hav tis kind of fren, but unfortunately i did and do somehow...

totally give up......

got home, hav to listen to all the naggings again...i shall stay even more quiet at home...ARGH...
i wun say nobody understand me...cos there's still me who totally understand myself...

ok...my mood is here...to relieve myself...and yes continue to work hard after tat...

sometimes, 还是靠自己会比较实际吧。

one thing aside, another thing jumped in...

i jus feel so much like an anchored ship...only the captain can drove me round to see the world...but i dun need a captain...i wan to venture out myself...i need freedom...
y din't the govt see parenting as a problem in the developing society???
my life is definitely not live to the fullest for all i noe, till tis point of time...
will there even be tis single day tat, i'm outta of anybody's control???
saying so much, as if i will noe how to be a gd parent one day........or will i even get the chance to be one hahaha...

jus asking ard, it seems tat many r having so much of unhappiness...tat's really really a very sad thing to me...happy lies in ur own hands, not on any others, and not even god, so only u can make urself happy...life's realli short...so pls laugh and smile and be happy all day long...the sweetest dream will come to u in ur slp too =)

issit the sec sch students? or issit the poly students....not even 21, oso wan to watch "Brokeback Mountain"...made me so unhappy, can't watch it!!!argh...tis made me even more determined to watch...but when?!?!?!?...even My Girl and I is selling out....shit, i'm so gonna get killed by Ah-De-Ge...=p cos he jio to watch Munich, yet i told him i'm not free, and went to watch Brokeback =p...I'm sure u wun blame me rite??? =) Afterall, me and my fypmates hav 约定le....=p
after discussing from NTU to how disappointed we can't catch a movie @ Cineleisure, we haven decided our dinner place...all the while, kept 'promoting' SST...hahaha...cos feel like eatin ma haha...but they not realli keen...so bo bian la...
ended up in Breeks...a funny waiter, probably not local or sth...cos he talks wierdly...real wierd. U wan to noe how wierd, go check it out @ Taka...

I foresee my Aus. Grad trip coming into reality =)...pls gers, we muz go tog and come back tog...=)...can't wait for the fun...
when, i actually still hav my FYP waiting for submission...
1 big project which i've not touch on...
1 tutorial presentation in a few weeks time
and the final exams in 1mth plus time....
yet i've been planning for the Aus trip...the JB trip...the club hoppin nite...blah blah blah....
but now i'm in need of KTV....=p
yup, it seems eventful....but after u hear the naggings, eventful oso becomes dull-ful...haiz...

shall hav a gd nite slp now...tired tired tired...
hopefully, i'll make full use of my day tml =)

jus, and i realli mean jus, realised something...
tink i hav a lot of tinking to do b4 i get myself to slp...
wat hav i been doin recently...
is tat jus wat i wan...
or i'm hoping for more...
there r ppl who rather stay in their own world
i shouldn't be like them
i should get out
i should (hav) see thru
i shall not repeat those mistakes tat i've totally made wrongfully...
life consists of so much mistakes man...haiz
should i seek for the truth?
or maybe i dun need to
cos i shld hav known y i was being missed......
everybody should GET A LIFE!!!!!
=) ?
=( ?

我好想告诉全世界，我现在的痛...

颜洁琳
你要坚定
不能再退缩！

i tink i shld learn how to hate...it'll do gd for me

yearsss ago, on a hot sat afternoon, i stationed myself at Raffles Place for flag day.
and occasionally, only went there when there's a real need.
today, the crowd at Raffles Place took me a bit by surprise.
as i was walking amidst of them, it dawned on me,
i dun wan to start working!!!
i wan to continue to be a student...
dunno y it's so hard for me to imagine i will probably be like one of them in mths to come (tat is if i'm able to get a decent job...by then)
haiz...

fren graduating from poly can continue to study in Uni...
fren in aus continue to pursue his masters...
if i started to work, will i still get the chance to go back school and be a student??
even so, it'll be so diff, i'll be the oldest student among the young adults....hmm

used my free time to browse @ kinokuniya...and decided to buy the sudoku book...there are so many varieties...dun even noe which to choose...haha...so i settled wif the small one so i can carry ard...
fyi, my almost 1yr old word search puzzle book bought @ C$1 (S$1.30) is only half completed...yet i bought another book to fill up my mrt time...=p

found a new discovery, maybe not to u if u had seen or heard it...
the escalators linking from parkview sq to the opposite of the road (simply an underpass tat said will reach the mrt station...bluff ppl), is auto!!!
auto start and stop!!! as u step nearer to the escalator, den it starts moving...it startled me a little...and after reaching the bottom or the top...it stopped. i was realli like 'wah'!!! hahaha, i tink i'm realli a sua gu, dun laugh at me! =)

thx to ppl who r always truthful to me.
人只有坦诚相对，才有最好的关系，不须回避，不须猜疑。
却还是有人，永远都不愿掏出真心。
这种人，我不喜欢。
他们让我窒息，让我只能一直留在原地踏步。
这是他们的自私？
还是我的倔强？

changes are always happening, but for gd or for bad, it's another thing.

i'll change for the better
to walk on the correct path
soon,
i'll be adapting
and i wun need reliance...

zzZZZzz is jus always on my mind hahaha...

hmm...
nothin is more impt than my future, so i'm praying for a better future...hopeful monday!
at least i get to hav some satisfaction from there...

effectively slept for only 2-3hrs on wed nite...and bcos of tat...i had to sleep a long 12hrs last nite...eyes r jus too dead...yes, dead.

clubbin postpone again...=(
workin long hrs tml...
i jus tink tat i wun hav any gd time left @ workplace anymore
tat's sad
at least i hope i'll bring on the frenships along when i am finally leaving...
now, there's no desire to work, no missing of anything...
tat's realli sad...cos it will not nv be like last time anymore...
haiz...but of cos, things do change ard...

dunno wat to say again...hmm...

yup have been bz wif sch work...realli dun wish to waste my time away
and i did, gain some quality time =p
so, here i go, continue with my quality time =)

hate my nose today...
cos it hasn't stop sneezing since abt 16hours ago...
all the dust r definitely building their home in my nose...

anyway...here's a wonderful link...if u wan to noe my happy folks gang...
we r jus a bunch of gers tat grow tog since Sec 1...
and they r my darlings =)

moulin rouge
j'aime

seems like a war is on its verge of breaking out...
i dunno
maybe i've lost my sensiblility
maybe i shldn't hav bother wif it in the first place
maybe i simply hav no rights to say anything
i'll jus do my part as i shld...nothin more nothin less
i dun wan my life to be messed up

and i tot i've always been a gd listener...
maybe i'm not
all bcos of u
i shall stop being such a so called 好人
ya, listen
i'm bad on the inside, good on the outside
so stay far from me
tat's the best thing u could do

y ppl jus like to make me feel so F up???

another nite of concert...
like the way they end everything...
and there's realli an encore song haha
hope the photos r nice, cos it's the happy folks gang photos =)
and i'll upload last week photos soon...=p

after concert, saw the hip hop nite by the concert hall...saw david (from jj) on stage!!!
and after leavin the cultural ctr, saw zhihong, my qps classmate...so he was in the competition too, solo category somemore...hope to see him dance in the future =) or maybe i can jus jio him to dance haha...
hip hop...RnB...my FAVE...the music simply make me wanna go club...yes i'll soon...wif the sst babes =)

COOL!!! happy folks gang is goin to hav our very own grad photo and 'wedding' photo(in 5 yrs time???) tog =)...so jea i guessed u'll hav to take it earlier wif us hahahaha...we're like 5 against 1? or issit 4 against 2?....lookin forward to it!!!

anw, been to JP few days ago, and realised i haven been there for a long long time....the toilet is renovated, and i luv it haha cos got big mirror even in the cubicles...=)

to some ppl out there:
always say ppl assume u, u tink u r not assuming abt ppl???......so u tink u noe everything and everyone in and out???...haiz
dunno wat's inside such person's head...

jus wan to say, if not for some close frenz i had, and if not for pocket $$$, i would hav leave SST SG oredi!!!!!!

can't believe, this friday nite, i'm here blogging
when i could actually go catch a movie or go clubbing....it's ok...i realli should tone down....or was i ever havoc in the first place? hahaha...

life is slow and easy today...i like it...
woke up early (if u consider 8am early...), got ready for sch, worked on FYP till i had spare time waiting for GIC recruitment talk, the first ever i've attended since last semester...
It was interesting to know more about a company thru such talks, but ultimately, for me, tat marked the end of the recruitment talk...haiz...i dun seem to be talkin normally...change topic

after the talk, went straight to sst. suddenly, missing my NPCC days upon seeing sec students ard, esp passing by a sch where the uniform groups are havin training and stuffs, and in turn lead to missing my sec days...the carefree days...no worries (if u dun consider those immature r/s in those days hahz)...there's always alot of things tat u can miss...i'll definitely miss being a student...............

was it only today, or was it realli me...am i so undecisive???
maybe cos, sometimes i care too much
care too much how others feel
care too much of wat others tink
care too much of wat i wan and dun wan
and all these lead to the undecisiveness...

recently, close frenz jus asked the same question, and i answered 'no'
but i'm wondering, isn't realli a 'no'...
心里始终还是矛盾的。
Shall stop here...

Anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO 19 yr old JERROLD...tink he gonna kill me if he sees it hahaha...

*yawning*
i'm so happy i got one whole tutorial done =)
but it's nothin to others lor...haiz...
nvm

i realized something recently.
i realized i dun realli like to make new frenz.
but i like to know my acquaintances better,
so tat we r not jus acquaintances anymore.
this feeling is much better than trying to noe new ppl.
but yup of cos, w/o the first stage of knowin new ppl, how to be close to my acquaintances hahaha...
and of cos i will no longer treat them as acquaintances.

Australia or Europe or where else??? i jus wished i own the whole world, so i dun hav to crack my brains at all...

forgot wat i wan to blog...
jus wan to say now...

明天会更好!!!

Through the laughters
Through the tears
Through the days
Through the months
Through the coming years
I am grateful
Just because of You
JL ♥ JW

I miss you
I love you
I am not making use of you
I dont want to hurt you
I dont want to bring tears to you
I only want to make you happy
I want you in my life forever...

i want you
i want happiness
i want dreams
i want a life that's called my own

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codes&image: ohsolovelyy
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